I have had those days so know you are not alone in this roller coaster of emotion. I am glad you made the choice not to hurt yourself. You are worth more than much fine gold! It is hard sometimes to tell people what we go through, if I are not embarrassed about it it makes me feel shameful or even crazy. Which I do know where these feelings come from it doesn't make me feel any better at the time or even later. We are here for you.
And yes ma'am: it is all going to be okay, its a cycle, just hang in there!