my opinion this teen just lost her mom and is now thrust into a home that to her probably doesnt feel like home and now heres this person trying to take over and replace her dead mother.

and now this person walked in the teens bedroom and sees her naked while chatting with a boyfriend..

and also from a teens point of view here you are invading her bathroom space and lecturing her on diet pills and threating to tell her therapist.

first I wouldnt have walked into a teens bedroom male female relative or not someones bedroom is their own space... knocking first is what I would have done, even if the door was open. I would not want any teen just walking in to my bedroom without knocking and waiting to be invited in.

that bedroom may be in a family home but its now her space to make it what ever she wants the room to be, and where she can let her hair down, cry, laugh be naked, be clothed whatever she feels like it.

After knocking and being invited in should she have been naked on the computer skyping I would have said... excuse me, Im sorry to interupt an obviously private moment. Could you please come to the family room, living room kitchen. I would like to talk with you about dinner tonight and a few other things.

then when she came out of her space (the bedroom) and to where ever designated, apologizing again for the interruption and ask the dinner question because that was the reason for the interruption.

Then I would explain to her teens being naked online, teens sending naked pictures and movies online is called "Sexting" (texting sexualized chats, pictures and movies). its now illegal for teens to be naked online, pass naked pictures to each other and send sexualized pictures to each other.

Then tell her politely that any time she wants to be naked in her room alone is ok because thats now her space to do with what she wants, but being naked with someone in her room and online is not allowed.

then give her the opportunity to ask you any questions about the rules of the house, relationships/ sex and what have you.

the pills I would have also done this differently too. first I would not have told her I had to inform her therapist. what goes on between a therapist and their client is between their therapist and client. would you want your friends and family running to your therapist if they found something they didnt approve of in your bathroom. your bathroom is your private space.

I would have told the teen I was cleaning the house today, since your bathroom is in this house I cleaned it and found your diet pills. explain to her there are healthy ways to maintain good healthy weight range with a healthy diet and exercise. Ask she if she would like to help plan the meal menus. (this will give you the opportunity to teach her how to cook and follow a healthy diet without diet pills. planning and cooking meals together is a natural and great way to bond with this teen too.)

you can also ask her if she minds you beginning therapy with her therapist so that you may have help transitioning into being a parent figure for her. let her know you cared for her mom and you are not looking to take over her moms place and memory. But you would like some help with your own problems so that you can honor her mom request to the best of your abilities.

offer to attend family therapy with her too so that the two of you have a way to work out any conflicts that may arise during this transition that you both are going through.

You might also want to give a warning to the teen about cleaning too..such as.. oh yea Im going to be cleaning today while you are out, should I include your bedroom and bathroom or should I leave that for you?

most teens will either say no Ill do it and rush up and get it done before you find those condoms, girly, or boy magazines, birth control, bras undies, briefs and other perceived as unmentionables to parents items. or they will tell you sure clean my room/bathroom and go hide those unmentionables so you dont have to see them out in the open.

Teens are on the verge of becoming women and men. I find the best way to be with them is treat them like young ladies and young men who if given the chance, and respect their space, will turn out to be police and responsible people.