I was wondering when a person starts to remember and put the pieces together that the mind has always been able to hide and keep seperated but what I was wondering can the BODY have a physical reaction to a MEMORY? That is kind of what has been happening to me for the past week or more, if i lie down on the couch the memory surfaces , the images, the sensations the feelings on my body and my body actually moving in a way that feels like all of this is happening nOW, I am repeatedly reliving it and am getting exhausted from this is that how body memories are ? has anyone else gone through this too? Do i just let myself go INTO the memory and try to cope with it and do I accept this as TRUTH that I was sexually abused by Someone?

I had a few early clues that alarmed me but was "too busy" with school and work to deal with it, one being that I always felt like, even as a virgin , that I KNEW what sex looked and felt like??/.> SHOULD I TRUST THIS as a clue?

Second thing is that I ENDED every single relatinship with a man since I"ve been a teenager up til early thirties as soon as SEX and having SEX became an issue, I at that point severed ties completely and never talked to the boy or man again, and I STILL tend to do that altho I had 2 partneres in my adult life.

I am so sorry for this if it is a trigger for I am just terrified need help and answers and YES I am in therapy again, just started going again this week and sh eknows the issues I have been dealing with.

IS THIS PROOF ENOUGH ?

On the other question I wanted to ask was, if i was lying on my couch now and fantasizing about sex I would not be feelin'g physical pain and sensations that make me cry out no and stop and please dont and sobbing all from a memory, I just need to know if I should trust this as a memory?: am i considered a surv ivor? I need SOLID proof to accept this but I cant fight this much longer as the memories intensify ty for listening to a very terrified girl, alone