i do not have memories of what has happened to me, but i feel like i have experienced what you are talking about. i once did a meditation, got myself very relaxed and tried to go back to the time that caused all these difficulties for me. it was pretty scary. the sensations i got in my body. i didnt remember anything, no pictures in my head, but i felt a lot of violence taking place. i felt as if someone were inside me, brutalizing me. i dissociated. when i came back, i hurt all over. i acutally manifested bruises all over my legs. it was quit a scary experience. i still have no actually memories of being raped or molested, but a whole lot of little things add up to it. i havent had sex in like 13, 16 years, i cant remember, but when i used to, i would have panic attacks afterward.