That is an important distinction: getting a diagnosis verses getting a suggestion about what might be something to consider/explore. A psychiatrist I highly respect said, in a lecture, that it can take quite a bit of time to get to where your clinician can have some real confidence in a particular diagnosis. Prior to that, the best you might get is an educated "guess." (subject to further review and change)

In the meantime, I hope somehow you can be helped to feel less awful. You sound distraught. Have you been this ill before? As hard and uncomfortable as it may seem to talk about, it sounds like those involved in your care need to be made aware of the extent of your symptoms. You seem to be handling a terrible load on your own. It's true that the scheduled appointments can fail to allow enough time to get past a conversation that stays superficial. Our healthcare systems might be very different, so I'm not knowledgeable about your options. I have had to go to the psych crisis unit to say that I was in a lot more distress than I was able to get across at my appointments. Staff there did seem to hear me and my doctor was informed. Don't give up on trying to find someone to alert to your state of mind. It is worrisome.