The big thing I would focus on is your child. Reflect on his words. HE is the one who has seen hardships in your house and HE has seen the effects it had on you. Do you want to put him in the position where he feels uncomfortable? I think that is the key here. He deserves the best that you can give him.

Even if you decide to stay with your husband, in his eyes he probably feels betrayed. I don't think he has changed if he cannot grow up and act mature about this situation. You had valid reasons for leaving him. The way you describe the situation, it seems like he is blaming you for everything that is happening and he will probably not admit that he had a role in this. Therefore it is reasonable to try and cut ties with him.

You also show you fear him. Fear is not apart of a healthy relationship. If he shows up to the divorce court and you can't tell them why you want a divorce (I have no idea what they do at divorce hearing, sorry) then it shows you still fear him and he has control over you despite the separation. Seeing a therapist to talk about these feelings will help. Anyone who has been in a emotional or physically abusive relationship will generally have lowered self-esteem which can lead to depression and anxiety. It takes time to heal, but it is hard to do that when you expose yourself to what is hurting you. It reopens wounds.

((Hugs!!))

Remember taking the action to leave your husband under duress makes you a stronger person. There are many women and men out there who would love the have the courage you have by taking steps to better your life.