So I have went for the screening but therapy is a week away on starting this lovely journey. Mom, Brother and Sister are all bipolar and think that is what they are aiming for with me- My other sister has mood swings too but IDK if she is bipolar, dont know if I am, My dad with how he would get so depressed then happy with cycles I think fits the description too but he never went in any where and go DX.

Any Who- This last week i have been good- I have stayed up too much but I am good for the most part, though I have question out there that just happened at work. July I was crazy in my head which is what pushed me to go early Aug. and as I told the screener I felt like i was coming out of my depression- Any who I just wanted to ask about something that happened today- IDK where to put this... It just has made me think so much after words.

I was talking to a co-worker and they mentioned something that sat off a "pet peeve" with me, which is that they can not ask others for information, except me, for the others I work say they don't have the resources...
We all have the same resources, it just takes a person to do two clicks on of the mouse and to look and to read to find information off of the computer.... the laziness is what really gets me- and that these people make themselves out to be morons. IDK Why it bothers me so but it has for the years I have worked here since '07.

I do realize that this upsets me, but I am able to "let it go" at times saying whatever-

and then there are other times like what happened just a little bit ago (like 2 hours ago)..

My Co-worker told me that (Again mind you he is older IDK If he forgets he has already told me this stuff) but I got mad, and since I was talking I went on a rampage about how people are just lazy and I felt the need to show this co-worker what my fellow co-workers in my part of the dept. needs to do to find information.. I was so mad, and he could tell... It just happened with out me thinking- I tried to take deep breaths but my mind was still on a roll with it. after I was done- I took a last deep breath and paused, and I apologized to him for getting so upset. He said it was fine..... I dont think this is fine- I have done this for almost 5 years now here- Will I ever let go- and Is this something that is contributed to Bi-polar?

Thanks all- I am going to talk to the Therapist about work things- there is more than this but this is what happened today-- talking I cant seem to make my emotions and thoughts to become constructive

Writing- after a few hours I am usually able to though (I try best with writing to take out emotions- talking though and in the moment it just happens and I cant seem to make it constructive)