Kmpeace1171 - I am so sorry you are experiencing such pain right now. Are you able to contact yoru counsellor?

Do you know any grounding skills - like picking up an object in your hand. looking at it - what shape it is size, feeling it - is it hot, cold, soft, rough, naming its colour. Can you feel your feet on the floor, what can you see / hear outside at the present momment, decribe it. This can help us be in the moment and separate from those distressing feelings and thoughts.

Remember these things are not happening to you now - they are just strong memories - the feelings will pass. And sexual fantasies would not necessarily bring up pleasure - do think of contacting your counsellor and keep posting on here.

Thinking of you - Soup.