Oh, I'm sorry you had such a sad night. I think we all get mute sometimes. It's okay. Just try to tell yourself that it takes a lot more energy to hold something in, than to let it out.

As far as researching and "obsessing". IMO that opinion it is totally normal to be curious. Sometimes I think it even relieves anxiety to look and look.

FWIW, I've found that even when I'm really busy, my brain still works on things. Sometimes it comes to a solution or understanding that it likely wouldn't have if I had been forcing it so to speak it.

There is no one path to follow.

It's all good, even though it may not feel like it.

When you can, talk. It helps.