Learning to flourish among others is very challenging. Often we learn how to do this when we are very young by the way our parents receive us and teach us how to relate to others. And this is so overlooked by so many as we often live our lives feeling disconnected and unworthy in the presence of others. We often take on the slightest signals from our parents growing up that we are truely not aware of. And we all think that we are just supposed to grow on our own and just know how to handle those around us.

Can it be true that happy people are those that have a loving support system from when they are young? Yes that is true, because many true needs were met that taught a child "how" to feel independent and truely be a part of a social network.
Unfortunately we are all so dependent on developing these skills at the mercy to those that we grow around. And equally important is that if we are not rewarded in our youth we often struggle the rest of our lives wondering how to be rewarded and if we are really worth being rewarded.

And to be honest, I am extremely angry about this, I really have a big issue with it. Time and time again I see so many people struggle with themselves because they just never learned some very important internal messages when they were very young. "We are what we know" and "if we dont know" it is truely "not our fault".

Often there are issues with transference when this is finally provided and it doesn't always have to be with a therapist, it can be with anyone who provides a sense of true acceptance and nurturing that was needed so very long ago. It can mean a mentor in our past or it can also lend us to being victims as we search for something that we know is missing but are not sure what needs to take place to have it.

While some of us are born with disorders, I believe that other disorders are created by a lack of proper nuturing in the most important times of our lives. And as we all have our individual weaknesses we struggle to understand how to relate to others and somehow be accepted. And often those that were never taught how to flourish within a social network truely feel abandoned and self isolate with an emotional deficit they just don't truely understand.

The beginning of learning is in understanding that there are others that struggle too. And that can be done in a site like PC. And it is one atmosphere where this can occur. It has offered some insight and exposed different areas of weaknesses in various issues that occur within different people. And each and everyone of us can offer "true" support and make an effort to help others learn things they never really learned so long ago that was truely needed.

We can only gain by opening up to learning about our own individual weaknesses and then trying to take those steps that we never truely got to take so very long ago. So that is what we need to remember when we read a question or concern here and try to answer it. And the very first step is the willingness to look at ourselves and see the good and the bad, then work at learning how to slowly take steps with each other and "support" a learning process.

The important question presented in this thread is "I feel inadequate and I dont know how to fix it" and one important answer I have to you is "your not the only one asking that question and you CAN LEARN to FIX the issues you struggle with. But you are going to make mistakes and each mistake is an opportunity to learn, NOT, a reason to run or feel like you do not belong.

Take time to read all the different information presented here at PC. And then find strength to talk and reach out to others. Just keep in mind that
"others are learning too and WILL make mistakes". Try to find ways to reward others here at PC for their efforts, that is a beginning of learning how to give, and then try to learn to accept rewards from others, that is a beginning of learning how to receive rewards. But you must learn that every rejection is an opportunity to "LEARN" and it does not mean that it is "YOUR FAULT ON INADEQUACY", "YOU JUST NEED TO LEARN".

Open Eyes