[quote] . . .I had a highly talented psychiatrist once, who told me that there are a minority of clients who have an unusual ability to trigger this sort of a scenario. She further maintained that a situation can occur that is just too overwhelming for a T to cope with. Her conclusion was that certain clients must be treated in a setting (like partial hospitalization/psych day care) where the T always has emotional support form other staff. That might not be available to you, or might not be what you would want to do. My main point is that you are not overstating the potential for an office visit to go very wrong. And I believe your concern about the T being only human and not invulnerable to getting overwhelmed by her own emotion is within the bounds of realistic thinking. [quote]

Rose, I don't disagree with you, but I feel that most mismatches and terminations come about because a therapist is ill equipped in her training or else ill equipped emotionally herself to deal effectively and with well boundaried compassion toward her client who might have significant abandonment issues. Personally, I think that a client truly can "trigger" a therapist to behave in an abandoning fashion, but that isn't the client's fault. . . . anymore than I can blame my therapist for "my" triggers. Part of therapy is learning what my triggers are and developing good solid coping strategies for dealing with those triggers in the bigger world. My therapist's job is to assist me/guide me in doing that. Therapist's are responsible for doing the same when they are developing their therapeutic skills. It isn't my therapist's job to always let me, the client, know what I'm doing that is triggering her, although in some cases she might determine that this would be a solid technique, especially once the trust is solid and strong. But my therapist definitely needs to closely examine what I trigger in her during her consultation time, either alone or with a colleague and she needs to know how to respond therapeutically.

Since I tend to view all therapeutic interventions through an attachment lens, I have a hard time seeing hospitalization or partial programs as the right approach to abandonment issues. In fact, I see both these options as making abandonment issues even more difficult to deal with effectively. I see them as options that are needed and very helpful in times of crisis. . . not as techniques to be used with high functioning individuals who are struggling with day to day issues related to self-worth and abandonment. I'm not saying they aren't helpful programs, just more of a response to critical, highly crisis based issues.

I might be wrong but from what I've read from Bluesky, she is an individual who is very analytical, a bit of a perfectionist and slightly inclined to be overwhelmed emotionally in a close intimate relationship, reacting with fear when she views her therapist as getting too close--Bluesky, I think that's when you react with anger and/or sarcasm and this is your "pushing away" behavior. Then when your emotions begin to settle, usually right after you leave your session, you feel guilty or shameful. You then perhaps begin to feel an intense need to apologize, and in a sense you "submit" to your therapist by offering to allow her the right to get rid of you by terminating you. (you might want to look up masochistic rapproachement--NOT as bad as it sounds LOL).

Anyway, hang in there Bluesky! You're making progress even though you don't feel that way.
Jaybird

PS Rose, I'm so sorry that you experienced termination by a therapist. I know that must have been horribly painful and if hospitalization or a partial program was helpful, I'm truly glad you found that support. My disagreement with that approach is just my opinion and not an attempt to disrespect what your feel is a great approach!