Futz,
I give you so much credit. With every post you have found more and more ways to cope with an unbearable situation. I hope you got a respite while she was out of town, and have renewed strength and energy.

As you've pointed out, it is near impossible to communicate with her. I wouldn't even try. Can you avoid her? Do you have your own room that you can retire to when it all gets to be too much?

With my toxic family members, I have learned to just nod my head and agree with what they're saying. Who cares if I actually believe it? The goal is to stay unengaged, and the easiest way to avoid an argument, which is not in my best interests, is to simply agree! That takes the wind out of their sails. Sometimes the best way to handle a trigger is to just avoid it.

Hopefully, at the end of September, we'll all be celebrating your new job and home.