I think it is so great that you took a risk and got a massage. I would hesitate to drop your regular T because that is where you do most of your work. I don't know if this would help, but I go to a movement therapy group once a week and it is with someone other than my T. I talk about what happens in this group with my T and it has helped me so much. At first I thought I was being disloyal to my T, but now I know that my T is there for me during sessions and my group T is there for me when I am in group. Could you maybe write a letter to your T about the massage and your fears about talking about it with him? Or if you do decide to share, could you sign a release form so your T could talk to your massage T?