You know darn well that I am biased!

What a HUGE step! I hope you are able to be VERY proud of yourself!!
What you did was HUGE!!!!!

My T referred me to my massage T. When we talked about budget (I was going to alternate) T said no, you are getting more of what you need with massage T. So I see T once a month (to practice what I learn with massage T LOL) and Massage T weekly. My massage T has the training to be a therapist though just chose not to become licensed as a T.

Figure out what works for you. Everyone is different. Many massage T's are used to dealing with trauma but some are still flaky and misguided. I like still having the security of a T even though T doesn't get it. She knows massage T is every bit as qualified to work with me as she is.

And yes, as odd as it sounds there is something about talking about trauma while being massaged that feels less threatening than when sitting in an office. One would think it would be the opposite. I am shocked at what I blurt out effortlessly to massage T then struggle to tell T.

IMO trauma work with a qualified Massage T is less traumatic and more healing than with a regular T. IMO it helps to get the memories out of our whole body not just our minds. My experience has also been that there is less post session anxiety too.

D* I never expected to see this post from you but I am SO proud of you for trying it!

Make sure to drink a LOT of water. Massage moves yuckies out of the muscles and you want to help your body flush that out rather than reabsorb it. Drinking water is important after every massage but especially when trauma stuff comes up. I have also found that standing in the rain or more conveniently a shower after a massage and visualizing the water coming down and washing all the yuckies away and visualizing them swirl down the drain with the water helps. Even with lots of water you may feel a bit tired, off or like you have mild flu symptoms after a massage, it is your body moving stuff out and usually goes away pretty quick.

Great Job!!!