It sounds like you have a good foundation but applying it is the trick. I wandered in the wilderness for a couple years working through many of the questions and feelings you have now.
2 things happened. One was the promise that God uses everything in our lives. I had to believe that he would use the bipolar to His glory (somehow).
The second thing was Job. He complained and complained. Finally God showed up and basicly put him in his place. What I got out of it was that God doesn't have to explain Himself to me.
We know what was going on behind the scenes but Job never did.
As a result I was able to leave it with Him. That put me back on the very long path eventually back to a solid faith