Hey Everyone!

I came across this site, had a look through some of the posts, great place!!
Thought it might be the right place for me to share my experience...

So Hi everyone! My name is Kelly, I am 20 years old from Australia. I Experienced my first panic attack when I was on a jury about a month ago. The case I was on was quite horrific. I didn't think it was affecting me at all before I had the panic attack, even though my friends and boyfriend started to ask me whether I was ok, and noticed that I was acting quite different.
On the third day of the court case, I had a panic attack in the court, did not see it coming at all!! Was the scariest thing I have ever experienced!!

So following that, I had severe anxiety about going back to the court the next day and ended up getting myself so hysterical my mum had to come to my house and take me to a doctor who sent them a certificate saying that I wouldn't be fit to continue jury juty.

So that's where it should have stopped. I should have been able to settle down after knowing I never had to go back but instead started experiencing the really scary symptoms of anxiety such as derealisation and depersonalisation which scared me so much, I developed a fear of the fear. I developed severe anxiety about what was happening to me, thinking i was totally losing the plot.

The next few days to follow that were the scariest of my life. I went through phases where I would scream and cry that I was going crazy, that I would never be the same again etc etc, then go through phases where I felt fine. It was the most confusing few days of my life! not to mention the lack of sleep and not eating at all which made it worse.

Since then I have seen the doctor again, a psychologist and a psychiatrist. I am on Lovan antidepressents, have been on them for two and a half weeks now. I was also perscribed Vallium but haven't taken it yet.

So it has been about four weeks since the initial panic attack. I have had a couple of smaller ones since then but nothing major. I am still seeing the psychiatrist about the medication and seeing a really good psychologist and start therapy with her this week.

I feel like I have gotten over the initial stress reaction but I am still left with this really weird feeling, like everything is unreal to me, and I get really confused really easily. Each day I wake up and it is the first thing on my mind and I don't stop thinking about it all day. I am so confused whether I am still anxious or whether the medication is making me feel really weird!!

But overall, I think I am getting a lot better, each day although completely different, seems better in small ways!!

I would love to hear from anyone who has had a similar experience, or anyone who has anxiety in general!!

(what an essay!!!!)

Kel xxx