seconding that...depression is not thinking straight, even if logically you know you aren't, you just can't; not being able to explain it to those you love you and seeing the frustration they feel in not being able to understand or even help, so you are embarrassed to share it. Hoping when you do try to explain you don't make a total mess of it. not being able to move forward when that's all you want to do, you just can't.