Originally Posted by TheByzantine
There is a big difference between having a good support group and allowing others to define your self-concept.

Quote posted by Stardusted :True enough. But I tend to form my self-concept based on the feedback from others.

Between these two statements, think about what goes on in the developing mind of a child, any child. And even a teen ager that comes out of that child and how that progresses forward through adulthood.

A support group can mean differents things to different people depending on how we all were "SUPPORTED" or "NOT" as a growing individual.

And that is one thing that each of us has to learn, and there is only one way to do it. We have to interact with others and think about how we define ourselves along with how others respond to that. And the most individual theraputic way to be successful is to take an honest look at
"HOW" we react to those responses of others.

And we all have our own unique way of reacting to others, however, we are all human and in that we all have a common design of responses.
Some of these responses we are "AWARE OF" and other responses we are not always "TRUELY AWARE OF".

If we honestly approach ourselves with the fact "We are what we know"
and understand that often through others "WE CAN LEARN TO KNOW BETTER" we can "CHOOSE" to not only become "MORE AWARE OF OUR SELF-CONCEPT" but "ACTUALLY SEE OUR OWN CAPACITY TO IMPROVE OUR SELF-CONCEPT".

We can either "ALLOW" a support group (OR ANY INDIVIDUAL OR GROUP OF INDIVIDUALS) to define us "OR" we can choose to break out of our own pattern where we often repeat a process that concludes with the same result. So, as an example, we can say "I never seem to be able to get along with others", "TO", "What do I need to learn to get along better with others and improve my communication skills" as well as "MAINTAIN
MY UNIQUENESS AND BUILD MY OWN SELF ESTEEM".

And this is where as individuals "WE HAVE TO BE WILLING TO DO THE WORK". Whenever we "LEARN" anything we then practice it. And that can mean behaviors and "SELF-CONCEPTS" that are both good and bad.
In many ways we have to accept that at one point that may have started long ago " WE ACTUALLY "DID" ALLOW OTHERS TO DEFINE US". And we can either spend the rest of our lives with some of the bad "SELF CONCEPTS THAT ARE TRUELY NOT OUR FAULT" or "WE CAN TAKE THE TIME TO "LEARN" HOW TO "IMPROVE" AND "MAINTAIN" A HEALTHIER "SELF-CONCEPT".

A support group is only a way to understand this individual process. And a support group is not about allowing ourselves to have others define us. But it can give us the opportunity to see if we allow others to define us.
It can truely be helpful to see that we are truely not alone in our individual struggles and there are ways to 'CHANGE WHAT WE KNOW" TO "LEARNING TO KNOW DIFFERENT".

It is truely a difficult and personal journey for each of us.

Open Eyes