What you've provided is wonderful but I find myself in a much different situation. 6 months ago the man I lived with for 21 years assaulted me. I had him arrested, got a permanent restraining order, then moved from NJ to Arkansas. It was the first time he physically assaulted me and it was the last time. He's got a drug problem (meth) and I know his behavior is because of the drugs but I don't excuse his behavior. He called everyone in my life and threatened them including my doctors, family, accountant and attorney.

I'm having trouble with 2 things now. The first is trusting my judgement about people. I have no interest in going out and meeting new people because I was so wrong about my ex. I also lost my best friend because my ex called her and threatened her. I feel like I've made some very bad choices and don't want to take the risk of making any more bad choices.

The second thing I'm having trouble with is that I spend so much time thinking about the results of his actions. I don't know if I'm blaming him or me. I just know that I am in a financial hole because of what he did. And I don't know how to stop dwelling on it. I know that if I got out and did things, it would help but between my trust issues and my health issues, I can't bring myself to get out and get involved in new activities.

My brother and my best friend tell me I'm being too hard on myself and that it's going to take time. Am I expecting too much from myself to be farther along in the healing process?