It can be difficult for a person to allow themselves to feel empathy for what happened to them as a child and not have it feel like self-pity. But there is a big difference. Self-pity is something in the NOW. Empathy and Sympathy on the other hand are feelings one has for the pain of another or for the suffering their inner child had to endure in the past.

Use your adult mind in the now to think about the past as something that happened to an innocent child. Not to you. How does it make you feel to know that a child had to go through those things? Maybe write a letter to that child about how you feel knowing all that happened. Write about what you would have done to protect that child if you had been there at the time (the adult you now).

Hope this helps!