(((mj88keys))) - welcome to psychcentral and I'm really sorry you feel so down on yourself. It takes energy to hate yourself and I think you should take this energy and use it to improve yourself. I hear you say several times, you feel overweight - obesity is becoming a big problem in N. America, especially young people your age. They're not eating healthy and spending too much time sitting.

Use this negative energy and switch it around. Have your parent make you an appt with your doctor and ask to be referred to a dietician. Start exercising even if its just walking. I'm so impressed when I see a person who's overweight and they turn their lives around. Are you getting help with the ED? I don't believe anyone is ugly - there's always good things to be found. Instead of fighting with yourself, fight to live better. Calling yourself names is only holding you back.