Yes, I mention my former husband's name. If the name comes up in conversation with someone who knows him and his name, I refer to him as "John". But if the conversation is with someone who doesn't know him, I refer to him as my ex-husband or my former husband. No need for them to learn his first name when they don't know him or will never meet him. And if they don't need to know our relationship, I may also refer to him as "someone I know," as in "someone I know once said that...." Also, if the topic of our kids are somehow involved in the conversation, I may refer to him simply as "Susie's father" or some variation on that. As in, "Susie when camping with her Dad this weekend," or "the kids are on their father's insurance plan." My ex-husband is still their father so this seems like an accurate and easy way to refer to him which doesn't even reference our past relationship at all. It is about his current role, so is very forward looking. I like that!

I have a therapist and he has suggested instead of "ex-husband" that a good alternative is "former husband." I think he feels that the "ex" is somehow negative or antagonistic or something. I have used this on occasion, and it works fine.