The title pretty much sums up my life. I hate myself, and as much as I hate to admit it, it's the truth. I avoid mirrors because I hate how I look, I'm ugly and fat. I hate being alone because it gives me too much time to think, and when I start thinking I only remind myself what a disgusting person I am. I have, no exaggeration, one friend. I'm not good enough for anyone else. I'm a loser, a piece of ****, worthless, ugly, fat, waste of time failure.
I've been feeling this way for almost three years now, and I'm so tired of it. I don't want to be like this anymore. I want to be someone good. I want to be someone that people want to be friends with. I want to be nice. I want to be pretty. I want to be skinny. But every time I try to improve myself, I end up falling back into my old mindset. This isn't right, I'm not right.
I've tried killing myself before, I was a frequent cutter, and suffered from bulimia, all within the past three years or so. I'm only 16. I don't want to live my life like this anymore.
I ruin everything I touch. I'm a dirty weed in a beautiful garden. All I want is to be a flower.