So, I'm thinking of reading something like this to her. If I just do it spontaneous, I will forget what I want to say or lose my courage. The thing about my T though is that she is so so so nice. When I believed that she was 'mad' at me, it felt worse than when a few weeks later she explained it. At the time her explanation was so comforting and soothing. At the time I accepted it and was glad she shared that with me. At the time, she was so gentle and kind that it all seemed o.k. It's just 'later' though that I can't shake it.

"T - I need to talk to you about something that is still bothering me. You even mentioned it last week. You asked, "is it about the iPod? Are you still not over that?" I can't remember what I said because there were a lot of things going on at the time.

Anyways, I'm scared to talk to you about this because I'm scared you're going to get mad again. You keep trying to reassure me that I'm not too much for you but the very fact that you reacted against my actions with iPod shows that, indeed, there are some things that I do that are too much for you. Now, the iPod incident was relatively minor in comparison to other things I've done - like expressing my anger and showing my sarcasm. How do I know for sure what you can handle? And what does 'handle' mean anyways?

You say it's best that all parts of me show up in session. Well, you know as well as I do that some of those parts are not pretty. Actually, they're quite ugly and who wants to meet them? Not me. And, although you say that you do, because of the iPod incident it's hard for me to believe you.

So, tell me please how I can get past that? You say that you're human and I honestly do believe you but in a way that makes it tougher for me. Since we already know that you can get mad at me, how can I feel safe enough to let myself express myself freely?

I want you to try to understand me. I would love to understand you too but because of boundaries, I will never have that opportunity. So, it's a one-way street and I'm the one who's risking everything.

The iPod incident is just one of the episodes in our relationship that has cracked the trust container. I wish there were a way that I could understand better why you thought I was acting like a belligerent teenager and even if I were, why would that make you mad?

I appreciate that you have already apologized but for some reason I need to understand better what happened. Or is there another way you can help me move past this blockage? I really need your help in this and I pray I'm not making you mad again. It scares me that we may be entering a confrontational relationship and I really really really don't want that."