so here i am, 42 and just finding out i'm likely codependent. after readying the traits of codependents i would have to agree that's what's going on. now the next step is to get to my therapist asap. i want to start reading some information so that i can really have some ground work done before i get to the therapy. this kinda sucks because i really don't remember when i wasn't like this. i mean thinking the way i do. i want to be helpful to others. but now i can see that by being so helpful i'm really keeping others from learning how to live on thier own. my kids, my co-workers, girlfriend...pretty much everyone that i come in contact with i'm short changing them in learning. and that's only on aspect!! i looked to everyone for help making decisions. my reason for this is because i'm thinking i should get everyone's opinion of what i should do, take those opinions and make an educated decision. do that over like 30 years and you end up not knowing how to make a decision at all. this also explains why i went from one relationship to another. i needed someone to be interested. when someone is interested in you, you feel needed or wanted. as soon as the long talks about what i want to do, or my views on this or that are over and the maintaining of the relationship start i would lose interest and sabatog the relationship and start the cycle over again. i lost my ability to sit in a room alone and be ok with that. i would follow my significant other around try to help her with what ever she's doing. not because i didn't think she could do it but because i was trying to be nice. and dang that wears someone out quick!! does anyone out there know what i'm talking about?? if you do and have anything to add or just want to chime in please do.