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Originally Posted by lastyearisblank
I just have to say it feels weird to me that part of a therapist's job would be to let the client know how they are "perceived by others" because a therapist doesn't KNOW. All they know is what they've seen in session and how they view it is so highly subjective that i think it just leads to problems. Every T is allowed to have things they won't tolerate but the effective way to communicate that might be "please don't do that in therapy." To make it a character thing is a little upsetting to me. Ok this is a personal bent but my T's saying "you are really introverted so sometimes I can't connect to you" really hurt for instance, because it almost feels like it's setting that up as a reason NOT to treat the person respectfully or saying you can only do therapy if you are kind of perfect in this way that is important to me (the T). I dunno!
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you'd be surprised how often the issues that play out in the relationship with the therapist mirror the issues that play out in relationships in the rest of a person's life.
i take care of myself emotionally, i have my own therapist and i have self-awareness. when im feeling a particular way towards a client and ive explored it and i know that its not "my stuff," that tells me that it is likely the client's stuff. i dont just assert that "this is how you are," but i absolutely talk about it and ask questions.
every time ive ever talked about what a client's behavior brought up for me and asked if they've ever heard that from someone before, the answer has always been yes. and yes, i think its part of my role to make my clients aware of how they may be perceived by others. not how they are
definitely perceived, but how they may be perceived. a lot of the times they are not aware of how certain things can come off, and most of the times it was not intended to elicit that response. i would be doing my clients a disservice to not at least explore it.
has anyone close to you ever said that you were introverted or hard to connect to? if so, maybe its something to explore with your therapist. if not, also something to explore with your therapist, since it would mean she might be reading something into you/your behavior that isnt there.