I used to feel as you do, then..... I went into a very, very scary bipolar psychosis. I thought I would lose my mind. I was on the verge. I thought everybody was in on it (my psychosis) even my family. I didn't sleep or eat for 5 days and lived on cigs and coffee. I ended up in the hospital (first time ever) and took all the tests after a couple nights of sleep and I know it is real. Most ppl don't go w/o sleep like I have all my life at one time or another. This was the first time it was a mixed state followed by psychosis, usually they are partying binges full of fun and excitement. This on the other hand was terrifying.

I am sorry for the way you have been treated and hope you find what will make you happy.