hey there kmb;

I think what you are going through is part of the recovery process-none of it is ever fun for sure though; the denial part-I think I feel ya there. It takes a lot of strength to face the dark and painful things...I'm thinkin you're in the middle of working through a lot so hugs yo! I'm glad you're wanting the apartment to feel safe, that you want that sense of saftey for yourself.

Hang in there kmb!

Take care,
-obj