What was it like last time you were in work?

I hate the thought of going to work, it is very tiring to maintain the pretence and to concentrate when I am there - I get really exhausted.

Although it feels "safer" for me at home, it doesn't stop the thoughts or feelings and actually for me with less to distract myself I start to feel worse.

I too have thought of going on long term sick, I wonder whether I will ever be able to work again and not feel these horrible feelings - however I want to make the decison feely when I am not so overwhelmed with the thoughts, rather than make the decision while I am feeling low.

Have you seen your GP? Do you have a therapist? I see you are UK based and it is likely if you have a diagnosis that you will be covered by the Equality Act, which means your employer would need to consider reasonable adjustments to support you at work. Have you thought of reducing your hours for a while? Are there tasks at work that are more difficult for you and some that are easier?

I know it can be really hard to bring up with an employer if you have a mental health problem - but sometimes it can be benenficial if it means they can support you in your role. This support is more likley to be forthcoming in a large or public organisation. Actually have you heard the recent government campaign that is promoting mental health in the workplace?

I know all this sounds great in theory, I also know that not all line managers understand mental health difficulites and aren't always sympathetic - and me? I am the original coward and keep my head down at work, waiting to get rumbled oneday....

What I do know is research shows that after 6 months of sickness absence there is only a 50% chance of returning to work, so I would just be cautious about going on long term sick unless work was imposible and / or there were definite health benefits to giving up work. IN terms of benefits, you could go on-line to the government site and to see what you may be entitled to, CAB (Citizens Advice Bureau) can also help.

OK off my platform (this is obviously an area that interests me) - good luck in deciding what is best for you - maybe your GP can help you decide?

Take care - SoupDragon