@soupdragon

The feelings of betrayal no doubt stem from having abusive parents who demanded automatic compliance to their own needs. Family systems that operate in that manner do so with secrecy, keeping the family "secrets." To sever my attachment relationship with T and cultivate a new one is symbolic of violating the family maxim to remain loyal to the attachment figure regardless of personal costs. So, on some level, I'm more concerned with T's needs than my own. Maybe it IS time for a change *sigh*