You're not "ambushing" her, you think your feelings are a lot scarier than she does. You will both be fine dealing with it in the moment, I guarantee. It may take more than one moment, one meeting. Oh, and she probably doesn't plan out her responses ahead of time? And "informative to see how she handles it in the moment" - I think my T's reaction to this would be, if you want to know something about T, just ask. This sounds a little like what 3rdTimes is doing, being overinvested in what T's reactions are moment to moment, instead of your own reactions. T's ARE trying to keep a blank face pretty much and make it about YOU, especially when we had to stifle ourselves per our readings of our caretaker.