oh hi prueso good to see you again. i've missed you. i'm sorry about the depression tho. prue, when we repress those emotions it only makes us more depressed. it won't make you numb. i know how debilitating depression is. if it overrides my meds i ask my pdoc if we can tweak my meds temporarily. it sometimes works. when it doesn't sometimes i have to let it run it's course knowing it won't be forever.
crying may help cause it's getting out the sadness. try not to beat yourself up about the crying. for me depression consumes my outlook on life. it distorts everything. i hate the truck on my chest. like my heart aches and i get really anxious. it may help to see if something triggered the depression. try to resolve it if that is the key.
i keep a journal when i'm depressed. i write about how i feel. what saddens me. how hopeless i feel. it seems to help cause i'm getting it out and on paper.
i don't try to do too much or make a lot of decisions when depressed. it is too much stress so i go into simplify mode.
meanwhile we are here for you always. talking about it here may help. we can't fix it of course but we can be supportive. hugs, prue.