Quote:
Originally Posted by skysblue
I figure that it's not going to hurt me or them to be attentive to how they're feeling.
So, it's normal and natural for me to 'take care' of people. Actually that is one issue T and I have discussed - how invested I am in that role.
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You actually can go overboard with this and when you do it is actually crossing boundaries and it does get messy. When you let others take care of themselves it is actually respecting them and trusting that they can handle it. When you try to take care of others too much the message can be that they are like children and can't take care of themselves.
"I'll take care of you and you take care of me but we won't each take care of ourselves". = messy.
A person gets to this point by growing up not getting their needs met and having to meet the needs of a someone else at their own expense. If this happens the person needs to learn to meet their own needs and respect boundaries and allow others to take care of themselves. This doesn't mean that you can't help others, though.