Quote:
Originally Posted by farmergirl
AL,
This is the girl who was also found naked with her boyfriend in her room after she had been left alone at home because she said she "didn't feel well." This girl is headed for a world of hurt, probably teenage pregnancy, and is being manipulated by this boyfriend of hers. This girl is in imminent danger. The computer needs to be moved into the living room where she can be supervised if she is using it. The boy needs to be off limits. His parents need to be informed of his actions so they can assist in supervising this situation. The guardian needs to sit down in a family session with the therapist and all the cards need to be put on the table. The boundaries and rules need to be clarified and discussed openly. But the adults in this situation have an obligation to do what must be done to protect this girl from mistreatment by this boyfriend. This is not a time to pussyfoot around the situation. It would be negligent to just say it's okay honey, I respect your right to privacy, and then let her continue to have access to the computer and this boy without supervision at ALL times. She will end up with STD's, pregnant, etc. without direct intervention here.
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the posting about the girl being caught with her boyfriend in the room (not by computer) cant be used to establish prior history because it happened "After" what was posted with in this thread.
I agree the boundries and rules need to be clarified for this girl.. in the post we are discussing in this thread there is no mention of discussions with the girl by the parent or the guardian about what the guardians house rules are on being naked in the bedroom, on computer use and on use of a computer while naked. with no prior postings about this 14 yr old girl getting caught in her own room naked chatting on a computer I can only go on this being the girls first offense and she may not know the rules in this new home concerning nakedness in bedrooms, computer usage, and nakedness while on the computer. all we know about the mom is shes dead. so for all we know the mom may have allowed this girl to be naked in her own bedroom in her moms house, for all we know the mom may have allowed this girl to date and talk on the computer while naked with her boyfriend.
We dont know nothing about any prior history and nothing about what went on before the mopm died and we know nothing about what the girls rules on these issues were before the mom died.
I dont punish for first offenses and I dont punish for not knowing the rules.
Also what I posted was if this same situation happened in my family and with any teens that I may have to take care of.
that does not mean my way is wrong it just means I do things differently than you, and this happens to be the right way for me and those teens that I know.
your way may work for you. but this is my way for my family and any one I may for what ever reasons have to care for.