I came across this:
http://vimeo.com/630499
And...I got an answer to this gnawing feeling I've had that I shouldn't have been so traumatised by my childhood, that despite the bullying and family turmoils, my reaction was just too much and the darkness too deep...And then I remember or my mum tells me things I was saying, and I do remember thinking...And drawings, and stories I made up, and...I won't get into any of it. But I still can't of course diagnose myself retrospectively as a bipolar child and I don't know if it matters either...But I keep being drawn back to these years either through nightmares or flashbacks and it would explain why I find it so unbelievably hard to say what's 'my' normal...I feel myself when I'm mildly depressed..

But then maybe I underestimate the horrors of childhood everyone goes through..? Or I'm just looking for something to blame for how confused I am every time I look at myself...