Dear T,

I feel like the worst mother in the world. I know that I'm not, but I sure feel that way right now. I also feel like I am regressing. Like I am falling back down into that awful pit of despair.

I don't want to disappoint you. I want you to feel good about the work we have done, but I am going through a bad place again. Not sure why this happens. Yes, I know that triggers set this off, but why can't I nip those triggers in the bud? I should be able to identify them and change my thought pattern, but sometimes I can't. Or maybe I don't want to?

I know that I have been sending too many emails this week. Well, is 4 too many? You keep telling me to "send away" and that you want me to email you when I need to. Am I over-exaggerating this situation? Is this just something that broke the camel's back and that's why I am falling so far down?

Squiggle