My hubbys just been diagnosed with bi polar and i feel like its seperating us alot, but then i have unresolved mental health stuff too so it could well be me in part helping us to seperate more... if we were that desperate, i guess id pray alot for direction, or choose to be in a cute nightie or something when he gets home...try and be creative, and whatever you do, dont get stuck!! there is nothing worse then feeling stuck, keep giving yourself options and changes, even if its just a routine change like a walk around the block with your son. Proper marriage, for what it is, take alot of grit... your trying to live with a whole other person, remember for every emotion or feeling you have, he probably also has one...I also know from my own experience that a house with mostly the essentials aids better living mentally and physically!I also feel guilt about summer holidays, but thats normal, honestly if we took them somewhere anyway, we would feel guilty if we didnt buy that memento, or win the teddy, or ride that horrible rollercoaster with them anyway, so really you prevented a whole lot of other guilt, we have wwhat we need already, ourselves, and when we just sit with our kids they bathe in our attention...
Hope you feel better soon,