I'm so sorry, ladyj. I hope you know it's all your T's fault, not YOURS. Are you talking about him and your feelings with your new T? I hope so, as that will help you a lot.

Have you read threads in our subforum on romantic feelings for T's and abuse by T's? There's a lot of helpful posts there.

I hope that your new T will help you heal and to feel love once again. You deserve to feel good about yourself.

Don't be hard on yourself for still having feelings for your old T. That is normal; he was your T and you trusted and loved him, and he betrayed you! Again, please discuss all this with your new T.