I have finally come to understand that I am not a robot and cannot expect to "fight through" my crippling emotional states as if they didn't exist! The fact is our culture and my dad in particular, have taught me that I should be able to manage my responsibilities and get the things done that I want to do without regard to my psychological state. Well this is preposterous and I am no longer willing to own the shame, guilt, and self-loathing that comes with constantly feeling that I am failing to exercise control over myself.

Right now I am feeling pretty angry at the people in my life or to whom I have been exposed who have said outright or sneakingly implied that I am a "*****", a "wimp", a "loser", or "pathetic" because I "let my problems" control me. Well you know what? **** you guys!. Let me tell you something real: If you have stress, anxiety, or depression and you claim to be totally functional and able to get stuff done without a problem, then you are either a liar or you are a drug addict/alcoholic. I haven't met one such person in my life nor do I know of any who ACTUALLY suffers from these symptoms above the clinical threshold (not borderline) and yet manages to perform as if they didn't exist without the use of drugs or medications. I'm sick and tired of these punks telling me that they have anxiety, etc., and that they just deal with it. Yea right, you must be such "real men" huh? That's why these same people are high and drunk literally 24-7. Substituting an addiction for greater functionality isn't a solution and it doesn't make you a "real man" or "real woman"!

Anyway, the positive gist of this post is that people aren't robots, we are human. When we experience chronic stress, anxiety, and depression, the results are crippling and we are no longer able to consistently put enough time and energy into getting things done as they require. This is something we need to accept because the alternative actually leads to MORE stress and anxiety, and deeper depression. Then you have crippled yourself even worse whereas had you admitted your human faults, accepted that you aren't fully capable or even close to it while suffering from those conditions, then they might have alleviated enough for you to take care of your responsibilities. That's the irony of it all.