Thread: Fight sleep
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Old Aug 23, 2011, 07:34 PM
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skeksi skeksi is offline
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I fight sleep, too. Being asleep puts our bodies in a very vulnerable place--we are open to being attacked, hurt. So it makes sense you try to avoid it.

As Open Eyes says, having reactions at bedtime and in bed does not necessarily mean something happened to you in that setting. It may be that when you are tired, you are more vulnerable to these reactions; it may be that being vulnerable triggers these reactions in you; it may be that there is a tangential relationship between the memories and bed, like you remember a trauma and also remember going to bed that night. Traumatic reactions are complicated, and if we try to read them too literally, it can be confusing.

I see you being very stressed by your reactions and wanting to feel safe and be able to sleep well RIGHT NOW. It may take time for that to happen, though. What if you challenge yourself to take steps to make yourself feel 10% safer? That's a very achievable goal.

Some things I do to feel safe at night: make sure the doors and windows are locked; leave a light on in another room so it looks like someone is awake; do soothing, quiet activities like stretching and meditating for an hour or two before bed; write non-traumatic stuff in my journal; paint; clean. Exercising four or five hours before you want to sleep can help make you tired and ready to sleep, too.

I'm sorry you're struggling with this right now. I know it's hard.