Quote:
Originally Posted by mcl6136
The truth is, I have sensed for a long time that my t works by trying to get responses of irritation, upset, etc from me. I have brought this up before, and so far, he never admits this is the case, but several months ago, he told me that during his training, one of his mentors told him that he needed to "use himself" in the therapy" to advance the goals of the therapy. At the time, I felt confused, but now my sense of this is that he does things to trigger reactions. The more I think about this, the more I feel that it is wrong. Thoughts?
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((((((mcl)))))
I think it would be worth it to have a very open and clear and honest conversation with T about this. I used to REALLY believe that my T was manipulating situations to upset me on purpose, and whenever I would ask him about it, he would deny it...and I wasn't sure what to believe. But we did talk about it a lot, and I would tell him my "suspicions" and he would hear me and think about his part and we would try to figure out together why it felt that way to me.
I really KNOW now that T wouldn't manipulate things to upset me on purpose. There is PLENTY in therapy and the therapy relationship to bring up all kinds of issues, without adding anything....and we've been able to work through a ton of stuff with just the things that come up naturally.
Which brings me to your question about T "using himself" to further the therapy. In my therapy, I know that my T is fully invested in the relationship, and that he is "in it" as much as I am. To me, that is an example of "using himself" to help me...he is authentic, and honest, and open, and allows me to be however I need to be with him. That is what I need in therapy, and that's a big part of how I'm healing. So, I guess I see the possibility of a positive spin on T using himself in therapy.
I just wanted to share my experience, to give another perspective. I have suspected my T of all kinds of crazy manipulation, but for ME, it was always tied to the past and to my own fears and insecurities, rather than anything T was actually doing. That may not be your experience at all, but maybe it's worth exploring a little more??
