((((((((rainbow rose)))))))))

I'm so sorry you feel alone Maybe it can help a little bit to know that there is a community of people here who understand, who really GET it, AND who care about you??

I used to feel like it was almost a waste of therapy time and money to go and deal with the feelings that were triggered by T...by the big feelings that were triggered by him, or the ruptures we had, or really anything that had to do with the therapy relationship. But honestly, now that I am able to look back with some perspective, I see how important those sessions were. Maybe the most important, really. Because they taught me SO much about myself, and about relationships, and about honesty, and about dealing with feelings, and about trust, and so many other things...and without that stuff, I couldn't have done the other hard work I've had to do. And for me, nothing else from therapy translates into the "real world" more than the work I do with T on the relationship itself. It's made all of my relationships better.

BUT. I know that when you're in it, it. just. sucks. I know SO well.

So I am sending lots of hugs and wishes for some moments of peace while you work through the yuck