tigergirl - I've found a way to show her how I'm feeling. i have an art therapy journal where I've tried to show it.

It's just me ... in the same room with my feelings ... and the person who triggered them. ... I don't do that. that's not my M.O. i see dissociation happening 'cause I don't know any other way to handle it at this time. (I start to dissociate just by imagining my session) i can't think of what to do to keep myself present ... or i just wonder if I need to be... let the feelings be as they present themselves. but i don't want to feel it. seeing her will force me to do that. (and I feel like I'm whining. ... sorry 'bout that )