Yes, she is really good at gently asking questions. And she gives me lots of quiet time to think and get deeper inside myself. I've told her it's the fear of getting into trouble. We both recognize that this is childhood stuff. I've read that 'understanding' is not enough but that 're-experiencing' in session is what can make the difference. I am sure doing that. I just don't know what happens next. I guess it's somehow or another teaching my emotional brain that the childhood consequences that were so terrifying will not be the adult consequences. I know that. I do. But that's my rational brain knowing, not my emotional brain. T says that when I continue to not experience what my child mind expects, I will slowly be able to change my reaction. But, you see, I did 'get into trouble' with the iPod. But then again, not really, because like I've said before it was only a subtle look on her face that I detected, nothing else.