I'm with Hopeful.....just because you exploded at your family isn't a good enough excuse to dive back into your ED.

Think about your friend Debbie's daughter who died from using the ipecac.....there needed to be some personal responsibility on her part to NOT use it also & not give into her ED issues or use excuses to allow one's self to go that way.

You need to separate the blowing up at your family from your ED because they are not connected.....you need to deal with the family issues in a separate way & not use it as an excuse to be drawn back into your ED.

Getting in control of your emotions is a starting place in dealing with the issues that you are struggling with. Maybe a good DBT group would be a help for you to learn more about your emotions & how to keep them regulated without allowing them to draw you into behavior that is unhealthy.

Know it's not what you want to hear, but one has to take our emotional mind along with our rational mind that knows what is the right thing to do & create the wisdom to live by without allowing the emotional part to control ourselves.

Know you can be strong enough to keep from doing this harmful choice....you have to know it yourself.