Well, everyone, I'm really kind of down on myself today because I went to therapy and could not bring myself to raise the topics of the shirt, the phone calls, the manipulation (shirt, phone) up. And the more I think about it, the more manipulated I feel. Actually, it's been crazy-making to have to again and again second guess myself about my t's behavior. At this point, I'm really choosing to trust my instincts. Yes, it's manipulative. And here's the ridiculous aspect.....during the session, I was taking on a difficult topic and backed off and then was talking about something else (less anxiety-provoking) and slowly circling back to the topic. I was joking about my tendency to avoid the tough topic, stalling and I asked him if he knew what I meant and he said....(you can probably predict this).... ARE YOU TESTING ME?

I about fell out, as you can imagine.

I'm also feeling that this therapy is coming to a very natural ending, due to some of these dynamics. It makes me sad because I've done a lot of positive things