Willow, I know just what you mean by a "connection deficiency"...I've felt the very same thing. It was much worse when I was a child, but I still feel a lot that there's something out there that I just don't get, that makes everyone else able to navigate interpersonal interactions better than me.

One thing that helped me was I watched what other people did and just copied them. It didn't come natural at first, but the more I learned "the motions" of being around people and socializing, the more I was able to connect with others. It's still work, and sometimes I still need to retreat to my solitary space, but I don't have nearly as much of that "outsider" feeling as I used to.

mj