Hi mediator,
I dont think I try enough otherwise I would not have behaved in the way that I did, it shows that my forgiveness was not real but that I was simply convincing myself all was ok. To illustrate when I saw the priest - its like I looked at him - I dont know what was in my mind. Dont worry I wasnt going to do anything and I am going to assess this and get the answer and overcome it as I dont like it. The sad thing is that my aunts know what the problem is, but Im not going to blame or pity myself - just find out what it is. When I get the answer I'll let everyone know - I would not want any person to be like this.