I think it's all right to write about my session today because I feel so good about it and nothing is going to change that fact! It was one of those sessions where lots of things worked out with no misunderstandings between T and me.

We haven't had our field trip to the bathroom yet (we probably never will) but today, for the first time, we were there at the same time. I didn't know she was there, but she said "rainbow, is that you?" I said "yes" and she asked if was okay. She meant was it okay that she was in the next stall. I said "yes". She left before me and said "see you inside". So, it was okay and I suppose she could have not said anything and I wouldn't have known she was there, but is very meaningful to me that she wanted to be sure I was all right, knowing my issue with the bathroom. Sorry if this is TMI.

I spent 30 minutes updating her on my great week-end and she was happy. I also asked about her comment about the weather in my email. She said Friday was a nice day when she sent it. I wasn't out at all that day so she could be right. I also asked again about her reaction to my singing. So we cleared that up.

Then, I just jumped right in with telling her my feelings about hugging her. I even said about how thin she was and how it didn't feel good, and how touching was icky. Everything! She even said something about her being "boney". She was okay with it all and wanted to do EMDR or IFS about it. So I chose EMDR. Of course she wanted me to go back into childhood, not talk about her. So we ended up with the stuff about my brother.

I didn't feel one way or another during the EMDR this time. I was kind of neutral about it, but my T says it will work anyway. We didn't finish so I had to put the material "into a container" for safekeeping. I feel relaxed now! I don't know exactly why. I said I didn't want to hug her on the way out so I didn't.

I went to the lake afterward, by myself, and I'm not a resident so couldn't go into the water where the lifeguards are, on the regular beach, but I sneaked into some water, with my clothes, where there's a boat dock. It was hot out so that was so refreshing. Someone eventually said there was no swimming allowed in that spot and I could get a ticket. But no one asked for my driver's license so I think I'm safe! I got an ice-cream bar and walked around to dry off! I wasn't thinking of anything in particular, not even my session!

I get to have another session Monday morning because she won't be there the rest of the week. I thought she was going to cancel me instead. So, I'm pretty content right now and I feel connected to my T even though my eyes were closed for the EMDR part of the session.