Mistica - my wife went thru this exact same thing this past summer. She had gotten laid off last year, and finally found a job. They low balled her because they knew she was desperate, but it was a job and she took it.

They took her to training and it was horrible. She kept thinking it would get better but it didnt. So a month in, she quit. I supported her in her decision, and I am happy to read your husband supports you too. It's just not worth it being in a crappy job that probably costs you more in the long run.

Now for the assertive part, some people's personalities are just that they will never be assertive. But the only advice that I maybe able to give you is take some classes that help you be more assertive, even something like toastmasters public speaking may help. I work in a environment where my co-workers thing they're the most special human beings on the face of the earth and how dare you not bow down to them when you want to have a regular conversation. So to me, my controlled inner anger makes me more assertive, but for me it is hard as well.

Good luck and just go in there and be assertive. It's like riding a bike, once you get to do it, then it'll become natural.